


In the Heart of Nothingness

by Pokedash55



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Hearts and memories and all that junk, If Roxas went to soras heart i see no reason why terra can't have xemnas's, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redemption, Science Trio, Xemnas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), but here's what i got, this might never be finished
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29913948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokedash55/pseuds/Pokedash55
Summary: Ever since the Keyblade graveyard Terra hasn't quite felt like himself. With help from the Radiant Garden scientists he'll get to the heart of the problem (quite literally).
Relationships: Ansem the Wise | DiZ & Even, Aqua & Terra & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua & Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua/Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts), Even & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Even & Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Terra & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Terra & Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts), ienzo & terra
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Posting the chapters I have. I'm warning you now It's unlikely this will ever be finished but we'll see how it goes!

The tall keyblade wielder walked down the musty unkempt halls of the large lab of Radiant Gardens. He looked slightly lost as he traveled through the endless tunnel full of small rooms on both sides of the hallway, looking through each one trying to find his way. It had been a long time since he had last been here, and back then he hadn't done too much exploring of the large city. As the young man peered into a random room, he was met with a surprised and concerned glare from a shy silver haired boy who was organizing papers by his laptop. He looked as if he saw a ghost. The visitor continued to hang, oblivious, in the door frame, ignoring or not noticing the glare, and instead taking note of the blips and beeps of the small mechanical marvels he didn’t understand. He was still adjusting to modern technology after being trapped for 10 years in his former psycho mentor. 

“Have you seen the other scientist that works here?” Terra inquired, still peering in slowly as the boy shook off his shocked stare and answered, “Apologies, um… you’ll need to be more specific, we have many researchers stationed at this facility now…” Ienzo steadied himself on the built in lab tables on the left side of the room, eyes darting uncomfortably first from left to right and then to his stack of papers, waiting to go back to what he was doing initially. 

Terra relaxed from his awkward state on the door frame and stood gentlemanly in the doorway, “Oh! Um. I’m sorry I don’t remember his name but he has long blonde hair and Aqua says he worked here back before the world was... overtaken by Darkness.” 

“You’re looking for Even,” Ienzo loosened his posture, eager to explain something, even if it was only directions, “He’s in the last lab on the right; it is the larger heart experimentation and research room, it should be marked but I haven’t gone over there in a while. You’ll see it.” Terra gave the researcher a small nod of gratitude and turned away to find his own way to the examination room. As he left, Ienzo gave a small sigh and returned to his laptop. 

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As Terra slid open the laboratory door of Even’s favorite place of study, he was met with loud murmurs of scientific mumbo jumbo. From the look of it, Even was conducting some sort of diagnostic on his gigantic monitor while animatedly talking to himself, but Terra didn’t know what any of that code could mean or understand anything the scientist was saying. Approaching Even from behind, he asked the man bluntly, “Excuse me Even, but you called for me?” 

Even practically jumped in surprise, before composing himself and turning to face the confused and, in his eyes, short young man. “Ahem, yes, Terra is it? Just hold on a moment.” Even waved him off to sit on an examination table near the center of the room. Terra situated himself on the bench and watched as the disorganized scientist shuffled a stack of papers even larger than those of Ienzo into a semi-neat pile before shoving the whole lot to the side. Even turned to face Terra, who had sat down with one foot up on the bench, knee pointing up as the other slouched down, barely making contact with the dirty unsweept lab floors.

“Yes. Now how can I be of service Terra?” Even asked, softly. 

_This voice? It seems both extremely strange, yet also… familiar? Isn’t he typically much louder….?_

“aHEM,” Even coughed, breaking Terra’s strange distant stare. 

_That’s a bit... better?_

Terra moved off the uncomfortable perch and addressed Even, “Sorry Sir. You, uh, asked for me a while ago. You wanted to run some sort of test if I remember correctly.” Even crossed the lab past the bed-like device that Terra was standing next to to kneel down on the ground (almost like a complete cat crouch since he was quite tall). Muttering to himself, he dug around the lower cabinets, pulling out fresh examination papers, pens, wires, and small devices the keyblade wielder didn’t comprehend. The brown haired young man continued standing and watching-- silent and still, almost like a military official waiting for commands from a superior. 

Even rose quickly from his search, slamming his head on the interior of the cabinet in the process. Rubbing his head in frustration, he did another quick scan of all the contents before exclaiming, holding up a small square of paper, “Ah, there it is! ‘Terra -- examine Heart 11/12’. I gave this to an intern weeks ago! What is the _point_ of memos if they do not get read and go into a useless pile?!” 

The high-pitched complaint made Terra’s shoulder relax slightly in relief. Even talking so mild-mannered and calmly had felt _wrong_ and off, though he couldn’t begin to say why that was. The yelling and complaining felt like a wrong set right, as paradoxical as that sounded. 

As Even rose again from his search (carefully this time) he started towards the back of the room to find a replacement part for such-n-such. While searching the back cabinets for a matching wire, he also ranted quite extensively about Ansem the Wise using his supplies without asking. Terra listened attentively, somehow almost nostalgically, as the scientist criticized Ansem the Wise's poor management of his equipment. Just as he didn’t understand why Even being quiet felt wrong, he didn’t know how he was supposed to be feeling nostalgic. He hadn’t been to these labs in over ten years, and even then he didn’t exactly speak with Even of all people. From what he could remember, the Radiant Garden scientists spent almost all their time secluded inside the lab, so why did he seem to know them? Terra quickly shook his head of those thoughts before he could get totally lost in them. They were trying to accomplish something here, and his confusion and overthinking would only mess with everything. 

“Here we are!” Even sighed in relief, plugging the wire into the scanner shaped device. He, once again, passed by an unmoving Terra as he strode back towards his computer on the other side of the room. He plugged the dangling cord into an adapter, then into the computer. Terra wished he understood the inner workings of this process but he could only stand there in awe as Even set up his intricate equipment, tapping away at the large keyboard, inputting what looked like codes in an equally oversized monitor. “Lay on the bench and sit still,” the tall scientist instructed, absently flapping a hand towards Terra and the metal platform he stood next to. Terra complied, laying back down onto the table.

Looking between a clipboard and the computer’s set up Even continued, “I want to do a quick experimental scan of your Heart first. And, in the event we sense any odd activity, we can do a more detailed scan tomorrow.” Terra squirmed on the cold white slab of metal pretending to be a bed, attempting to get as comfortable as he could. Terra suspected that this lab was usually used for much smaller people. (From what he has heard, Ventus, Xion and Roxas come here often for occasional checkups so Terra decides that this is like those children’s rooms of Doctor’s offices where everything was smaller than it should be.) 

“Does the detailed scan include sleeping for a long time like Kairi?” Terra asked, cringing at the idea of being separated from the world he had just rejoined.

“Yes it does. That is why Ienzo and I have perfected this scanner. We do not want to be messing with Hearts or memories if nothing is wrong.” Even finished booting up his multitude of programs and moved to the center, scanner in hand. “Simply lay back and try to relax. The scanner is still relatively new technology so it is sensitive to movement, body heat spikes, and drastic changes in brain waves during scanning.” 

Terra followed the instructions and shut his eyes, expecting a loud sound, beaming light, or even pain of some sort. But Even just hovered the scanner over his body and gently moved it down from head to toe in a remarkably quick and simple fashion. “You can get up now, If it is more comfortable,” Even allowed, setting the scanner down on the lab table built into the wall. 

Terra immediately sat back up, grateful it didn’t take too long (Science truly was incredible nowadays) while Even impatiently waited for results. Terra could hear him murmuring under his breath about the slow result time, writing a note on the notepad beside him. Once he scribbled down a few, what Terra assumes to be maintenance notes, he looked back at his monitor to see the data loaded completely. 

“Oh my!” Even exclaimed, bewildered and eyes widened beneath his long bangs. Terra went up beside him to look at the data, but couldn't make anything out of the charts and numbers on the screen. 

“What's the matter? Is there something wrong with my Heart!? What does all this stuff mean?” Terra had many concerned queries as Even looked over the data thrice more. 

Furiously jotting down more notes, now barely looking at Terra, Even composed his findings into a simple conclusion Terra could understand with ease. “You will definitely need to come back tomorrow for the full scan. It would seem your Heart is not alone.”


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra hangs with his friends, but it is bittersweet.

The fly home wasn’t easy for Terra. The metal helmet and heavy wind created from his keyblade transformation vehicle drowned out any other noises and he became completely lost, drowning in his own thoughts and fears. The news that his Heart’s still not his own, even after the events of Keyblade Graveyard is too disconcerting for him to concentrate on anything else. And it didn’t help that Even refused to answer his questions he had after his diagnosis; instead running around the lab immediately after doing the scan and telling him to just go home. No matter how much he asked Even didn't give him any more information, so now he’s left with the fear that Xehanort may still be with him, controlling him and what he does or says. There has been no evidence or confirmation of this worry, yet he couldn't shake the thought that he would never truly be himself again after Xehanort abused his trust 10 years ago. 

Terra arrives at the Land of Departure, his thoughts heavy. It’s both an overwhelmingly secure place, full of joyous memories of sparring with Aqua and teaching Ventus basic skills, yet also filling him with great sorrow as he strolls past the grounds where he once killed his Master in rage. Darkness got to him once. Xehanort got to him once. He prayed that the thing Even saw inside his heart was just some fragmented memories left behind, or a small blip that could be fixed in a day or so. Or maybe his heart was forever damaged from that day at the Keyblade Graveyard a decade ago? Was he destined to never recover from what Xehanort did to him? Hearing Aqua’s laugh from beyond the door helps Terra snap back into reality, the sound causing him to smile softly, knowing that spending time with those in his heart, his true heart, would calm his nerves. 

Dispersing his armor with a tap on the shoulder, Terra relaxes, and opens the grand door. He follows the echoed conversation of Ventus and Aqua down the large hallways to a cozy living/recreational room they have just finished renovating, with help from the other Denizens of Light. The room was separated from the hall with a large golden archway, with columns on both sides of the “door”. Inside the room there were light blue cushioned couches circling a large coffee table, cluttered with card and board games they forgot to clean up nights ago. Aqua sat cross legged on the long blue sofa, directly across from the entrance where Terra stood, listening politely to Ventus’ retelling of his exciting day with the newly named “Sea Salt Seven”. 

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” greeted Terra as he entered the room. His naturally loud yet soft voice immediately made Ventus turn around in glee. 

“Terra!” Ventus ran up for a small hug, which he did quite often now that they were all together again. It was basically how Ven said hello. 

Aqua stayed on the arm rest and waved him over to sit by her. “Glad you could make it.” Aqua gestured to him to sit down, as he stood awkwardly in between the table and couch. Terra got comfortable, leaning on the other arm rest, signaling Ventus to continue his story. As Ventus began, Aqua leaned over to Terra and whispered, “I’m glad you’re finally here. I thought it was weird he agreed to start without you, but then I realized he was just filling the beginning with boring detail to stall for you.” Terra usually found Ven’s purity and Aqua’s slight quips amusing, but there was too much on his mind to even chuckle. 

“It’s nice of him to wait for me.” Terra smiled towards Ventus, refusing to make eye contact with Aqua. He couldn’t place it, but despite how happy he knew he should have been to see Aqua after everything the two of them had gone through, lately seeing her had given him twinges of some hollow, nameless feeling. Anyone he talked to about it (which was, admittedly, like one person), had suggested that it was probably just guilt at her being alone in the Realm of Darkness for so long, but Terra had decided to just take that explanation. Now he wasn’t so sure that that feeling could even be called his own, and that was more than a little terrifying. 

Ventus continued, or in Terra’s case started, the tale of his day. The boy had only been back for such a short time but had already made such strong connections with the other guardians. It was amazing how well he got along with everyone and how well he recovered from his prolonged sleep. At least his little Ven was doing well (Much better than him, it seemed). Ventus went on to tell of how Roxas and Ventus played tricks on Isa and Axel by wearing the same plain white t-shirt and acting like each other at any chance they could get. Terra should be laughing along with Ventus’ colorful retelling, but the story only seemed to bring him deeper into sorrow. These names. Axel, Roxas, Xion. All people he never knew before and hadn't talked to much since the final battle. Emotions bubbled up inside, so intense that he had to clutch his head tight and resist letting out even a whimper of a scream. Anger, hate, fear, sorrow, regret. So many negative feelings just from a couple of names alone. He held his head tighter, shutting his eyes tight as voices and images flashed in and out of his head, too quick to make sense of but too intense to ignore. The only sound echoing in his mind was the phrase

**_I’m sorry_ **

Sorry for what? Sorry for all the things Xehanort did? Sorry he couldn’t stop his master before everything turned for the worse? He couldn’t make any sense of it, so tried to just shove it all aside and relax. He forced himself to unclench his hand, laying it open-palmed on his leg, but still continued to stabilize his head with the other, the pain not leaving him. Aqua looked over to Terra after Ventus told a clever joke, expecting the older boy to laugh with them, but she became instantly concerned as Terra held his head with his eyes shut. 

Aqua placed her hand on his and asked, “Terra are you alright?”

Just the single touch of her cold palm brought him back. He turned to face her gaze and thought over what to say to her. The buzzing in his mind had cleared and he returned the gesture, adding his hand to the small pile. “I’m… alright. Thank you, Aqua,” Terra responded, voice quivering as he recovered from the surge of emotions. He’s had flashes like that before, but this was the first time it had gotten so intense. Maybe whatever was in his heart did not like being messed with? 

Aqua leaned her weight onto his shoulder, hoping to comfort whatever was troubling him. Although it was not uncommon for her to comfort him this way, it seemed to feel different ever since the battle with the 13 darknesses. Terra both longed to be held tighter, and wanted to distance himself from her. She was his closest friend so why did he want to be apart from her even a second? Especially now that they were together once more; the last thing Terra should want to do was be alone. Being alone. That was another thing Terra felt different about ever since his return. The concept of being alone terrified him so much, yet he felt drawn towards it at every turn. It was the strangest feeling he had ever had and he hoped that the scientists could vanquish these from his heart. They weren’t his feelings. He was sure of it. It was that evil thing in his heart that was making him hate others. The last thing Terra wanted was to feel pain towards Aqua. He loved Aqua. That evil blip in his body wasn’t going to take that away from him. Not now. But still, the aching grew too much for the night and he knew he needed his rest before...Well his prolonged rest tomorrow. He was definitely not looking forward to that, ugh. 

As Ventus concluded his story, Aqua gave a small cordial applause, “That was wonderful Ven. It’s nice that you’ve made good friends in this time period.”

Terra stood up abruptly, causing Aqua to have to catch herself from falling face first onto the hard armrest, “I’m happy you had a good day. Good night.” Terra nodded to Ventus before he walked out the opening he entered in without glancing back to his life long friends. 

Aqua yelled a sweet “Good Night” to her friend before nagging Ventus about how it was time for his bedtime too. The conversation grew quieter and quieter as he made his way to his quarters. Terra took off his shoulder armor, placed it beside his bed, and collapsed for the night. He tried to go through everything that had happened, but he was just too tired to dwell on it any longer. Besides, Even and other scientists would fix him tomorrow. Then this would all finally be over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some terraqua food for your souls. Also Terra defiantly has unresolved issues with old nort he won't talk about.


End file.
